Linlithgow, Meltdowns, One Amazing Beer and a Cunning Linguist
So....we had another late start. Not a big deal but it was a bit late. We didn’t get out of the house until almost 11. We had to wait for the asda delivery - so we had no food. for breakfast...or lunch...so I showered while Jess got the boys together. When I was done I made the lunches to get ready. Our plan was a simple one, go to Linlithgow Palace, birthplace of Mary Queen of Scots and then head to a playground. Fairly simple, yes?
We thought, (by we I mean Jess) that there was a clothes drier here. There was, it was an electric rack. You may have seen such witchcraft type objects at Ikea - they have towel warmers (now those are useful). It looks like a regular drying rack but, as you guessed, it heats up to dry your clothes. I asked Jess how long until we had to flip our clothes - she didn’t know.
One of the roads near our place was closed so we ended up driving past our old spot in Currie. We tried to get in there but it was already booked. We like this place, so it's all good - but the other place had a barn from like the 16oos or something. Anyway....
We made our way to Linlithgow Palace - where Mary Stuart was born. The castle was amazing and I am not sure how we never went there before. It was way larger and way cooler than I expected.
Thought it was going to be a finished renaissance house but it was a huge castle with multiple towers and staircase that led into each other. The boys searched for things in the castle as per their scavenger hunt sheets. There was so much not explained by the towers that now I want to learn more about the castle.
The playground was great. It was huge and there was a lot to do. The huge spider's web was a big hit and Neil loved climbing to the top. He wanted me to go with him once Jess got back from getting water at the car and, who was I to argue.
While at the playground, the boys played football with some kid. While the boys plated football, I spoke to the kid's dad who grew up in Linlithgow. He was telling me about how when they were younger they used to sneak in there all the time. I said, you've probably seen more stuff than any of us tourists have. Then I went on to tell him how I told Jess at Auchindoun, that if I lived there, as a kid I would have totally gone and camped out there. Could you imagine looking out your back window and there is this fucking awesome castle. A castle! Not like some old abandoned piece of shit but a castle, with history! Enjoy this pics - this was one of the highlights of the trip. I still can't believe that we never made it here before.
On the ride home everyone was cranky. It was way later than usual for them and usually they have been catching at least a wee nap in the car. Jess, has the brilliant idea to play the quiet game. They were being annoying so she decided that we should play a game to determine who could stay quiet the logest. Clearly, any discrepancy in this game could be solved through reason.
That's the pic I text Jess any time she says something I deem ridiculous or annoys me.
Neil is already crying because he can’t put his arm on the car seat because Malcolm’s is over it. Not like crying but like irrational, there's hair in my hair crying. Jess starts the game before asking if everyone is ready and like two seconds after Neil asks if he can tell her something. Jess, with the warm heart of a mother, kicks him out of the game. He's crying even more intensely now - like someone has killed his puppy and left it in his bed. He’s overtired and so angry.
Then he’s pissed because he’s out and he kicks her out. But he can't kick her out, because she is running this round. Then after more crying he asks if he can tell her something and finally she says yes. He says "I love you." It's not what he really wanted to say. She says it back and as she starts the next round he calls out, “Can we breathe?” FFS!
The rest of the ride is them, making up rounds, and calling us out. But we weren't playing but no one is paying attention to that fact they are just calling people out, because, they can. Even though they are not sanctioned to.
We made it back without anyone dying or melting down again (I think). We parked at the lot and headed down to our apartment. He has always made up languages and pretended like they mean something. Neil has done this thing since he was little - he hears a language and then pretends that he can speak it. It started in Germany on the last trip. We were at the beer garden in Aying and he is in the playground talking to kids in "German." When I asked what he was doing he said he was talking to them in German. Then during pre-K he started speaking Spanish. He hears a lot of it on our town and in his defense, he can say a lot of number in Spanish, so, in his mind, he speaks Spanish too. I think he's having a little trouble with the concept that Scots Gaelic is different than the regular English with a Scottish accent here. In his mind he just needs one or two words in his repertoire and that's good enough for him to say that he speaks the language, In his defense, he says Scotland pretty good with a Scottish accent but the rest of it is shit. So, we are working on that accent. So, he tries to speak both Gaelic and with a Scots accent. On the way back to the apartment, we passed the Chinese restaurant about four doors down from our apartment. If you have worked in a Chinese restaurant, you know it gets loud, kinda like Italians. Everyone talks over each other. Don't ask me why. They were so loud I turned to Jess and said, "Great! Now Neil can speak Chinese...." She may have peed her pants. About twenty steps later, he was speaking Chinese as we headed into the apartment. For the record, it kinda sounded like either Spanish or Italian. Perhaps he will be a cunning linguist and get into the CIA or FBI or something.
We got into the apartment and the boys vegged while Jess made dinner and I did some work for work. That was stressful - so stressful that I broke out the special beer form the Orkneys, aged in whisky casks. For the record, I am not a whisky cask guy but this stuff was amazing. A. May. Zing. 10% abv. So good - I never get excited about these beers but this one was smooth and subtle and just plain silky.
After dinner, we headed to the Leith River and found two caches. One was down the block near a church. Apparently the church was built as some sort of non-Church of England church in 1880 and they took up some name just to keep them off their ass then they sold it to the Catholic Church in 1885. Screw you, Henry, you slob. Neil bitched during the entire walk. I'm not sure why. It was flat and a a nice easy walk - just lazy and would rather sit inside and play with the iPad. That thing may meet its demise soon. Otherwise they had a good time finding caches and watering the plants.
When we got back to the apartment, the boys chilled and snacked and Jess and I decided the next day - and out decision, broke my heart. I love Edinburgh. We are here and it is the Fringe Festival. We thought that wouldn't be to big of an issue. We looked at parking and a normal 5 pound per day lot was going to be 30. Not horrific but not great. Apparently, Edinburgh Fringe is the third largest ticketed event in the world after the OLYMPICS and WORLD CUP. That's insane. The amount of people on the streets rivals the worst times in Times Square. This would not be good for us. I'd be in jail. Someone would get lost in the crowd, probably Malcolm since he listens as well as a deaf man married to the same woman for 75 years. That kind of stress, without a leash is not worth it. For the record, I'm never putting one of my kids on a leash. "I don't know why Charles turned into a serial killer?"
I was looking forward to the city and the festival but we didn't know it was that crowded or we would have planned differently. If you can, you should come here (not during Fringe). It really is an amazing and beautiful city and it is worth your time.
We thought, (by we I mean Jess) that there was a clothes drier here. There was, it was an electric rack. You may have seen such witchcraft type objects at Ikea - they have towel warmers (now those are useful). It looks like a regular drying rack but, as you guessed, it heats up to dry your clothes. I asked Jess how long until we had to flip our clothes - she didn’t know.
One of the roads near our place was closed so we ended up driving past our old spot in Currie. We tried to get in there but it was already booked. We like this place, so it's all good - but the other place had a barn from like the 16oos or something. Anyway....
We made our way to Linlithgow Palace - where Mary Stuart was born. The castle was amazing and I am not sure how we never went there before. It was way larger and way cooler than I expected.
Thought it was going to be a finished renaissance house but it was a huge castle with multiple towers and staircase that led into each other. The boys searched for things in the castle as per their scavenger hunt sheets. There was so much not explained by the towers that now I want to learn more about the castle.
The playground was great. It was huge and there was a lot to do. The huge spider's web was a big hit and Neil loved climbing to the top. He wanted me to go with him once Jess got back from getting water at the car and, who was I to argue.
 |
| It wasn't that high. |
Selfie at the top.
I'll admit that there might have bee a spot or two in the ropes at the top that I might have been worried about getting my fat ass through, but I made it. It was lot's of fun!
While at the playground, the boys played football with some kid. While the boys plated football, I spoke to the kid's dad who grew up in Linlithgow. He was telling me about how when they were younger they used to sneak in there all the time. I said, you've probably seen more stuff than any of us tourists have. Then I went on to tell him how I told Jess at Auchindoun, that if I lived there, as a kid I would have totally gone and camped out there. Could you imagine looking out your back window and there is this fucking awesome castle. A castle! Not like some old abandoned piece of shit but a castle, with history! Enjoy this pics - this was one of the highlights of the trip. I still can't believe that we never made it here before.
On the ride home everyone was cranky. It was way later than usual for them and usually they have been catching at least a wee nap in the car. Jess, has the brilliant idea to play the quiet game. They were being annoying so she decided that we should play a game to determine who could stay quiet the logest. Clearly, any discrepancy in this game could be solved through reason.
That's the pic I text Jess any time she says something I deem ridiculous or annoys me.
Neil is already crying because he can’t put his arm on the car seat because Malcolm’s is over it. Not like crying but like irrational, there's hair in my hair crying. Jess starts the game before asking if everyone is ready and like two seconds after Neil asks if he can tell her something. Jess, with the warm heart of a mother, kicks him out of the game. He's crying even more intensely now - like someone has killed his puppy and left it in his bed. He’s overtired and so angry.
Then he’s pissed because he’s out and he kicks her out. But he can't kick her out, because she is running this round. Then after more crying he asks if he can tell her something and finally she says yes. He says "I love you." It's not what he really wanted to say. She says it back and as she starts the next round he calls out, “Can we breathe?” FFS!
The rest of the ride is them, making up rounds, and calling us out. But we weren't playing but no one is paying attention to that fact they are just calling people out, because, they can. Even though they are not sanctioned to.
We made it back without anyone dying or melting down again (I think). We parked at the lot and headed down to our apartment. He has always made up languages and pretended like they mean something. Neil has done this thing since he was little - he hears a language and then pretends that he can speak it. It started in Germany on the last trip. We were at the beer garden in Aying and he is in the playground talking to kids in "German." When I asked what he was doing he said he was talking to them in German. Then during pre-K he started speaking Spanish. He hears a lot of it on our town and in his defense, he can say a lot of number in Spanish, so, in his mind, he speaks Spanish too. I think he's having a little trouble with the concept that Scots Gaelic is different than the regular English with a Scottish accent here. In his mind he just needs one or two words in his repertoire and that's good enough for him to say that he speaks the language, In his defense, he says Scotland pretty good with a Scottish accent but the rest of it is shit. So, we are working on that accent. So, he tries to speak both Gaelic and with a Scots accent. On the way back to the apartment, we passed the Chinese restaurant about four doors down from our apartment. If you have worked in a Chinese restaurant, you know it gets loud, kinda like Italians. Everyone talks over each other. Don't ask me why. They were so loud I turned to Jess and said, "Great! Now Neil can speak Chinese...." She may have peed her pants. About twenty steps later, he was speaking Chinese as we headed into the apartment. For the record, it kinda sounded like either Spanish or Italian. Perhaps he will be a cunning linguist and get into the CIA or FBI or something.
We got into the apartment and the boys vegged while Jess made dinner and I did some work for work. That was stressful - so stressful that I broke out the special beer form the Orkneys, aged in whisky casks. For the record, I am not a whisky cask guy but this stuff was amazing. A. May. Zing. 10% abv. So good - I never get excited about these beers but this one was smooth and subtle and just plain silky.
 |
| Amazing - on the odd chance you see it in the US - BUY IT ALL - I will pay you for it! |
 |
| This shit was EXTRA mango. TOO MUCH. It tasted like perfume. |
After dinner, we headed to the Leith River and found two caches. One was down the block near a church. Apparently the church was built as some sort of non-Church of England church in 1880 and they took up some name just to keep them off their ass then they sold it to the Catholic Church in 1885. Screw you, Henry, you slob. Neil bitched during the entire walk. I'm not sure why. It was flat and a a nice easy walk - just lazy and would rather sit inside and play with the iPad. That thing may meet its demise soon. Otherwise they had a good time finding caches and watering the plants.
When we got back to the apartment, the boys chilled and snacked and Jess and I decided the next day - and out decision, broke my heart. I love Edinburgh. We are here and it is the Fringe Festival. We thought that wouldn't be to big of an issue. We looked at parking and a normal 5 pound per day lot was going to be 30. Not horrific but not great. Apparently, Edinburgh Fringe is the third largest ticketed event in the world after the OLYMPICS and WORLD CUP. That's insane. The amount of people on the streets rivals the worst times in Times Square. This would not be good for us. I'd be in jail. Someone would get lost in the crowd, probably Malcolm since he listens as well as a deaf man married to the same woman for 75 years. That kind of stress, without a leash is not worth it. For the record, I'm never putting one of my kids on a leash. "I don't know why Charles turned into a serial killer?"
I was looking forward to the city and the festival but we didn't know it was that crowded or we would have planned differently. If you can, you should come here (not during Fringe). It really is an amazing and beautiful city and it is worth your time.
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